For the LGBTQIA+ series, I really wanted to touch on the personal stories of what it means to be gay in the world today and how that intersects with how one travels while being gay. For my final interview, I had the opportunity to email back and forth with Daniel Ecklund, DMCP, a close friend of my aunt. Living in Highland Park in Illinois, he is the Vice President of Event Services at CTC Destination Management. He and his husband have traveled all over, and I caught him right before his trip to Malta!

Hey! So glad to hear back from you. I’ve got a series of questions I’d like to ask you about what it means to travel while being a member of the LGBT community. So, my first question is what was it like coming out? How were you received?  

Coming out, for me, was scary but ultimately went very smoothly.  Growing up, I was made fun of incessantly because I was perceived to be more effeminate.  Before ever understanding what gay meant, I was being told that I was and derogatory comments were normal throughout my adolescent years.  Given that, homosexuality became something that was “bad” and made me an outsider, so I did everything I could to not be “gay.”  I took that belief into college with me.  

I joined a fraternity, dated women and tried my best to present as straight.  

In my Junior year, a female friend of mine invited me to go out to a gay bar with them.  It was at that time that I started to consider my sexuality.  It took me a year to come out to myself.  I struggled with reconciling with the way I felt and my history.  After coming to terms and accepting myself, it was time to come out to family and friends.  One of the things I remembered the most was that no one that knew me was surprised, and they were excited for me to finally come to terms with it.  It was very surreal, as I initially felt offended but then quickly started to understand and feel the love that I was showered with.

Is that different at all from how you’re received now in your current community?

Currently, I am not an overly active part of the gay community.  I will go to bars every now and then and met my husband on an app, but the majority of my friends are straight.  They all celebrate with me and accept me for who I am.  I like rainbows and glitter and am proud of my gayness, but it does not define me.

I love that. Who doesn’t love rainbows and glitter? Going off that—and you sort of touched on it a bit—but how important is your sexual/gender identity to you, and how does it affect how you travel?

My homosexuality is very important to me.  It’s a part of who I am and in today’s society, I think it’s very important to own it and show people that I am proud of who I am as a whole package.  I don’t tolerate negative speak about homosexuality and work hard to be a good role model. 

As far as travel is concerned, I choose destinations that have a history of acceptance and tolerance.  I actively make efforts not to visit somewhere and contribute to their tourism if they do not embrace or are open to my community.  I also want to make sure I’m not putting myself in danger.  As someone who travels a lot and has been all over the world, it is one of the factors I take into account when determining my next trip.

You really are the perfect candidate for this interview! Tell me about a time when you were judged about your identity. Where were you? Again, another repeater.

All throughout my childhood and, quite honestly, daily.  Everyone knows I am gay and assumes, which frustrates me. Unless I outwardly share with you, it’s not your business.  For whatever reason, people feel like it’s OK to comment, and I don’t believe it is.

Heard that! People definitely don’t know how to mind their own business a majority of the time! They think that because you seem comfortable that that correlates to how they can talk to you and/or about you. In that line of thinking, have you had to change yourself in order to travel? How?

I am very sensitive about my safety and how I spend my money.  I do a lot of research on a destination before deciding on it to make sure they are gay friendly.  I like to think that I don’t change myself when selecting a destination, but I do change behavior, opting to limit public displays of affection such as hand holding and a kiss.

That’s something a lot of the people I spoke to said, which is so sad! Like, you aren’t afforded the same benefits that straight couples get. Now for the more upbeat and exciting questions. What’s a local establishment or vacation destination that is your safe space?

One of my favorite neighborhoods in Chicago is Andersonville.  I feel very safe and accepted there.  It was my home for 13 years and the community is open and very accepting of all colors, sexualities, and people.  I have since moved, but I try and go back for dinners, drinks or to shop at the boutiques when I am in Chicago and have the time.

Oooo! How quaint! Finally, what’s something the world should know about the LGBTQIA+ community? 

We are just like everyone else.  We strive to feel accepted and connected.  To find our community and a place to feel accepted.  We contribute to society, have families, and are here to stay. 

Plus, we’re fabulous.

When I first started this series, I wanted to enlighten people about what it means to travel and worry about how others perceive you. We see it every day on the news, people being ridiculed and punished for their race, sexuality, gender; and I feel like it’s only going to get worse if we don’t give the minorities a voice and a chance to share their stories. It’s uncomfortable to have scary and sad things in your face, but we can’t become desensitized to the truth anymore. We need to feel the hurt of our fellow human beings and start making a difference to change the same old story. I hope you got the chance to learn something new in this series because I know I sure did.