Written by Jaden Parker

There are tons of websites that will offer you the keys to a perfectly stable mind. Eat these exact foods or get this much sleep or exercise every day for an hour or what have you. But only you can know what works for you. So with that, I’m going to share the things that work for me. If you expected a list of the usual antidotes, check this link and this one; but this will be about the ways I’ve traversed my life with mental illness.

1.   Do the things you love to do, especially if there are things you can do on your own.

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed let alone make plans with other people when your mind is filled with thoughts of hopelessness and despair. I take time to do stuff I love. This includes taking a nice warm bath, drinking a hot chocolate, eating ice cream, or doing some sort of craft. These things calm me no matter what mood I’m in. When your mind is calm enough, you’re able to reestablish a connection with the parts of you that are spiraling. Find the things you love to do, whether that’s taking a walk, binging your favorite TV show, or staring at cat memes for hours on end. Do what you love to do, not what others say you should be doing.

2.   Write it down

Okay, I know almost everyone in the world says you should journal how you’re feeling, but it really does help. For me, just being able to get whatever is clogging my brain out on paper or on my notes app helps me focus on the root of what is bothering me most. Think of journaling as a decluttering method. It doesn’t need to be shared. It doesn’t even need to be words. It could be drawings, paintings, doodles, whatever you need to get across how you’re feeling. The best thing about paper and pencil is that it can’t judge. We don’t all have the luxury of having people in our lives that will always be there to listen to our woes, but paper is tried and true and loyal. Plus, it’s great at keeping secrets.

3.   Sit with your discomfort

Well, Jaden, doesn’t this seem like the exact opposite of what I want to be doing? Of course. No one likes to be uncomfortable. But uncomfortability is like a boomerang. You can throw it all the way around the world, but it will eventually come back to hit you in the back of the head. You need to be able to throw that boomerang and face the opposite way to prepare for its re-arrival. If we don’t face what is bothering us, it will continue to creep back up and haunt us. So, take a moment to find yourself in your discomfort. Look at yourself with a non-judgemental eye. You are the only person who has been through your life with you in every moment. You know the answers.

4.   Reflect on your perfect day

Maybe your perfect day hasn’t happened yet and maybe it has. Either way, find a way to remind yourself of that perfect day. Maybe you have some polaroids from a trip you took years ago where every moment just seemed perfect. Or maybe you’re dreaming of visiting a place you’ve never been and you put posters of it all around your desk. You have to force yourself to see the beauty in things. I know it’s not fair that we must struggle while also finding our own solutions, but “the broken are the more evolved.” Know that you are capable of anything. Even just saying it will help you start believing it. 

5.   Therapy works

I know I come from a place of privilege when I say this because therapy is incredibly costly in the United States right now. However, if you have the means and the access to get yourself into therapy, do it. Anyone, absolutely anyone, can go to therapy. You could just want someone to rant to about that one driver cutting you off on the highway, or maybe you’ve been rejected for what feels like the hundredth time in a row and you don’t know how you’ll cope. No problem is too big nor too small. If a licensed therapist just isn’t in the cards for you right now, there are also a multitude of support groups in communities for free that you can be a part of. Going to therapy helped me understand that I was not alone. There are so many different types of therapies out there, too. It’s not all just laying on a couch while a therapist writes down your life stories. I really encourage you to look into it if you can.

6.   Know that my mental health will look different from yours

So maybe you don’t find watching sad animated movies and eating snacks appealing. That doesn’t mean that you’re doing this whole “getting better” thing wrong. You know what feels right to you. It is somewhere deep inside you. Also, you might think that someone has it all figured out. Trust me when I say that they don’t. No one has all the answers. But we can work together to offer various solutions. 

The other day I mentioned to a friend of mine that we as humans need to advocate for each other. “A problem doesn’t have to be your problem for you to advocate for the solution,” I said. I hope that this series helped you realize even a fraction of that. 

Take care of yourself because you are worth it.